The dream I had

I haven’t kept up with my blog but I’m here now for the express purpose of relating the incredibly weird dream I had. It went like this:

Andie MacDowell and Natalie Portman were at a park. Or something. I don’t know who started it, but they started arguing. As a way to make her point, Andie MacDowell pulled her hair back and said “This the face of someone who KNOWS what she’s talking about.”

And Natalie was terrified.  She was all like “Oh my GAWD” and started crying and running away.

And so then Andie was angry and screamed “Don’t you run away from ME, Natalie Portman!!” as she morphed into a rage-fueled monster.

And she started chasing her and Natalie was scrambling under a slide trying to get away and wailing with that special cry-face she has.

I woke up before it ended and just sat there thinking . . . “Uh, what?”

I also had a dream about a really inconvenient shopping cart that had buttons on the side that you had to push to go forwards and backwards and side to side and it was VERY difficult to do something complicated like turn your cart around because you forgot the tortilla chips. Of course, no one else had trouble with their carts, I was the only one looking like a moron who couldn’t push her shopping cart and C was up by the produce giving me the impatient look as I screamed “I can’t do this! Who makes a shopping cart this complicated?!?”

Anyway.  I think the first dream has to do with work, in a way, because I have to read these terrible magazines all day, every day, and I keep seeing Andie MacDowell’s face in the makeup ad and Natalie Portman everywhere else (Black Swan! She’s pregnant! She married a millipede or something!).

So, I’m obviously cracking up and losing my damn mind.