A typical conversation of a couple together for 8 1/2 years

20 04 2008

Granted, this conversation took place in August. I found it in my email because I wrote my friend A– about it when it happened. But it’s a good example and a standard method of negotiation between C and me. I call it Strife: It’s what’s for dinner.

First C asks if I could make stir fry. I say no problem. I start making a list and we’re going to go grocery shopping. I am rummaging through the kitchen to see what else I need. The conversation is as follows.

C: (pointing to two baking potatoes) can we use these?
Sharon: potatoes? they don’t go in stir fry
C: well, why not?
S: because that’s absurd
C: what about as a side dish?
S: you want stir fry over rice with a baked potato on the side? seriously?
C: we need to cook them before they go bad.
S: well I’m not cooking potatoes with the chinese food. I’ll cook them tomorrow night.
C: you don’t have to make stir fry if you don’t want to.
S: you said you wanted it
C: well I know it’s a lot of work
S: that’s okay, I haven’t cooked in a while
C: but I know it’s a lot of work so you don’t have to make it
S: do you want me to make it?
C: I don’t know, it doesn’t matter
S: well if you don’t want it then I won’t make it. What would you rather have?
C: I don’t know, it doesn’t matter
S: You have no opinion on what I make? All right, I’ll make chicken saltimboca with potatoes on the side. Let me go and change the grocery list.
I sit on the couch and re-write the damn list since half of the list was stuff for stir fry. She sits in front of me and then . . .
C: so you’re not gonna make the stir fry?
S: no
C: how come?
S: you said you didn’t want it
C: no, I said it was a lot of work
S: you said you wanted to use the potatoes and so I’ve changed the menu accordingly so that I may include said potatoes
C: Well you can make the stir fry! It’s just that it’s a lot of work.
S: the work doesn’t bother me, now do you want it or not? Cuz I’m halfway through the new list. WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?
C: it doesn’t matter
S: you have to choose
C: But I have no preference
S: If it was up to me, I would not be making either of these, I would eat popcorn, but the fact that you want something makes me want to cook it. So tell me what you want.
C: The chicken is fine.
S: fine
C: but if you want to make stir fry, that’s fine too.
S: (loud screaming and cursing and throwing of random items) I’m not going to the store with you. You have highly irritated me to the point of not wanting to be around you. Here’s the list. Go to the store. Get what’s on the list. Or don’t. Get food and I’ll cook it.
C: I’m not going to the store if you’re not going with me.
S: (more loud cursing and stamping of feet)

Love is grand.

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2 responses

20 04 2008
Mom

this is why, when the cook asks for menu suggestions, I give him ONE…he’s grateful to not have to make the decisions all the time…and if he counters with another suggestion, I say OK and I’m back watching HGTV!!

BTW, he cooked chicken Fernando the other nite, yum!!

P.S. Your b’day cake has been promised by B-

22 04 2008
Gina

Love it

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