Like it was ripped out and stomped on

5 06 2008

So I received some very disappointing news.  Not that I was surprised, exactly, but there were still plenty of tears and recrimination.  There’s a difference between not knowing if you want something or not, and being told you can’t have it.

And I’m too ashamed to actually spell it out here.  That’s how useless and crappy I feel about the whole thing.  I can’t admit to being as much as a failure as I feel because I don’t know who reads this anymore and I don’t wanna hear the  chants of “I told you so” that I imagine are waiting in the wings.

So my new plan: Dazzle them in the time I have left.




2 responses

6 06 2008

I don’t know what’s bothering you, but I’m sorry your heart hurts. You are not a failure or useless or any of the other things that estrogen and a lack of sleep can make you say to yourself in the mirror. Chin up, sweet girl. God’s got big plans for you.


6 06 2008
GiGi Smashly

You are awesome and talented and courageous.

They are idiots for not letting you in. I think everyone gets rejected their first go around. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

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