The other night C got home from work and I went upstairs to lie down and talk with her. She’s always very tired when she gets home, you see. I had grabbed my cell phone on my way upstairs because, well, just because. I laid down and she took it from me and put it on her nightstand.
Me: Hey! Give me back my phone! What is it doing over there?
C: I put it next to my phone.
Me: Well what it is doing next to your phone?
C: They’re making babies.
Me: Ewwwwww!!! Your phone is bad and moving way too fast. Gross.
Really, this is the kind of stuff we say to each other. We decided to go to the movies. Without thinking, C grabbed both our phones and got into the car.
C: Did you want your phone? I grabbed it.
Me: Oh. No, just leave it in the car.
(as we exit the car to go into the theater)
Me: Is your phone in the same cup-holder with my phone?
C: They’re lovin’ it up. Stop worrying.
So we see the movie, and it was fun. We exit and start getting into the car. As I’m sitting down and reaching for my seatbelt, C grabs my mini-MP3 player which is jacked in to the stereo by a cable.
C: Look! A baby phone! And it’s still got the umbilical cord, that’s cute.
I stared at her for about 5 seconds before I laughed so hard I thought I might pee. Again, this is what happens when we’re left alone.
And just now, she was passing where I’m sitting on the couch. I grabbed the back of her jeans and she almost fell over. Mildly angry, she leaned over me:
C: I could have fallen! I would have broken your arm!!! Sharon (middle name) (last name) don’t you do that again!
Me: Hush, I would have caught you.
C: No you wouldn’t have! And if you had, I would have broken your arm!
This was getting tedious so I reached up to poke her in the side. She’s ticklish. This resulted in the following statement:
C: I mean it when I THBPPTH!!!
In case that onomatopoeia isn’t quite coming through, that’s her blowing a rather large raspberry in surprise. And I think this is a pretty good lesson in how to deal with people giving you an annoying lecture. Wait for the most opportune moment, then poke them somewhere guaranteed to tickle. They make that noise, THBPPTH!! Lecture over.