I’ve had some great ones. And never from doing anything cool like skateboarding or hang gliding or anything like that. No. I hurt myself just walking around and doing lame things.
When I was 19 I sprained both ankles at once. You heard me.
I had gone with my mother to her office one night, though now I don’t remember why. Were we stealing things? Rummaging for post-its? Who knows. Anyway, as I was walking out back to the car there was a HUGE step down that I didn’t see because it was so poorly lit. Well, I stepped and then promptly sprained both my ankles, falling and also kind of cracking my head on a brick wall. My mother ran back inside to call my father. By the time she came back out, I was laughing hysterically. She thought I had some kind of head injury or had become hysterical but really? I figured out what I looked like, sitting flat on my ass with both feet dangling in the air in front of me. And I thought that was pretty damn funny.
So my dad showed up, loaded me in the back of the minivan, and drove me to the hospital. Where the triage nurse promptly pissed me off. While asking about my prior history, she said “And do you have any prior instances of heart problems, dizziness, clumsiness?” And she laughed a whole lot at her stupid joke. I hated her at that moment, and complained vehemently to my mother and told her to find a way to chastise her thoroughly (Mom worked for that hospital at the time).
Anyway, a very nice nurse named Dusty gave me a shot in the hip that dulled the pain. I went home and slept. The next day, I was given crawfish alfredo and roasted green beans for lunch (that I had cooked the prior night) and people came to visit me and bring me books.
We borrowed a wheelchair since, you know, I couldn’t walk, but that was pointless in a house without wide doorways and full of carpeted floors. So I borrowed my dad’s kneepads from when he did construction and crawled around for a couple weeks. Fun!!