Hork if you’re tired

5 09 2008

So H evacuated Slidell and went north to Ruston.  I asked her how the process went, how her family’s doing, and how the cat, Mina, handled the evacuation.

Here is her story as told by H (and recreated as faithfully as possible by me):

Well, we had to board up both houses and we were trying to leave ahead of contra-flow.  But Mina had decided to hide in the depths of the house, you know, like she does when I really need her to be out.  And I realized I hadn’t seen her in hours and then I noticed the front door was open and I’m like “Oh my god, what if she got out.”  But I figured she was just hiding from noise and dogs and such.  So we went to my house because the renters didn’t do ANYTHING before leaving and, oh!  Did I tell you about the spiders?  So it’s late at night and we’re putting up a board and there’s a HUGE spider and I make Casey kill it by stomping on it but THEN there are like a gajillion spider babies exploding everywhere.  That’s when I say “screw this! We really have to get going like RIGHT NOW because of, um, contraflow!  That’s it!  Off we go!”

So we go back to the house and find Mina THANK GOD and pack her, the two dogs, and all the stuff into the car.  Also, I couldn’t find either of the cat carriers that I know are somewhere so I had to make one out of a box with tons of holes punched in it and tape.  So we put the box on top of all the stuff and Mina starts the pathetic “Oh god you hate me, I want to die” noises that she makes even when you pick her up so we don’t take her all that seriously.  After 30 minutes she stops scratching.  An hour later, I look back and her entire head is poking out of the box.  She had nommed one of the holes until it was wide enough for her head to poke through.  A few minutes after that I hear this weird noise, look back, and Mina has lugged her body through the nomming hole.  And now she insists on riding up front in someone’s lap, preferably whoever is driving.  So . . . yeah.

We FINALLY make it to Ruston and stop at my mom’s house.  And you know how during Katrina, even, Mina wouldn’t eat or anything on the trip?  Well, same thing this time.  And so we finally leave my mom’s house on our way to my grandmother’s and you know all those hills?  Well Mina freaks out and starts drooling all crazy and there’s like these clear threads coming out of her mouth and then it turns into bubbles and then I guess she’s trying to throw up from motion sickness but she hasn’t eaten so all this weird gooey shit keeps coming out until me, Casey, and the entire front of the car are covered in kitty hork and it’s just so bad.  Casey’s all like “Damn, I took a shower so I could be clean and non-smelly to meet your grandmother and now I’m covered in kitty goo, so . . .whatever.”

At this point, I was laughing too hard to hear any more story.  Because “kitty hork” is just too good at making me giggle.  Mina is fine, H is fine, the houses are fine.  And yes, it’s a sad story of a sick cat.  But it’s also funny as hell.




One response

6 09 2008

So, did you tape this conversation so you could transcribe it later? Cos I really enjoyed the story, plus I even learned a new word, but I don’t think I would have gleaned all of the details had I heard it straight from H’s lips…you know, the speed talker extraordinaire!

Tell H & C to evacuate to our house next week if Ike comes calling. We’ve even left the boards up!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: