Gross

2 10 2008

Today before my class I went to my favorite spot: a couch in the 3rd floor lounge of Calhoun (the building that houses my office, department, and that class).  It’s a good couch, comfy enough to lean against the arm, curl up a little, and it’s next to a window.  I’m usually there twice a week because I like it so much.

And I was enjoying it today.  Today was a beautiful day, I had a really good mocha, I was making a shopping list, and sitting on the couch.

And then, I felt a tickle on the top of my foot.  I thought it was a thread from my jeans, so I shook my foot a little.  And then I looked down.

And saw a cockroach crawling on my foot.  The bare top of my foot and toes because I was wearing sandals. I jerked my foot to the heavens and thanked God that the roach didn’t fly up and into my hair.  He just kind of fell off my foot and onto the floor.  I moved my other foot to stomp on him but he crawled under the couch I was sitting on.

To my credit, I did NOT scream, as I usually do.  I didn’t want to disturb every single class and have people come out running to find me hysterically weeping and pointing into thin air.  I didn’t even make a sound.  But I did have a rather prolonged “Ohhhh, icky icky gross oh my god” kind of dance that involves hopping, limb-flailing, frantic breathing, and very wide eyes.  I don’t think anyone saw me.  If they had, they might have laughed themselves to death.

So I snatched my things off the couch and then . . . looked at my mocha in horror.  It was sitting right where I left it, on the windowsill.  The windowsill behind the couch.  At this point, I had taken maybe 5 sips of it.  It was a good mocha.  I paid more money for it than it was actually worth.  But in order to get it I had to walk back toward the couch.  I approached that thing the way little kids walk toward beds with monsters underneath.  If I could have leaped onto the couch, snatched my coffee midair, and jumped back again all without spilling hot liquid or falling and hurting myself, I would have.  So I took some quick, shuffling steps toward the couch, leaned way over, and picked it up.  And then ran away as fast as I could considering I was still looking behind me, checking my arms, trying not to spill the coffee, and lugging my bookbag.

So now I have to find a new place to sit before class.  Dammit.

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4 responses

3 10 2008
Lisa

How did you not scream? It makes me want to be sick just thinking of it…..GROSS!!!!

3 10 2008
Bronie

Haven’t you learned ANYTHING from your mother? You must scream, “DIE, SUCKER, DIE!” or something of that nature while you whack it with a heavy object. Glad you saved the mocha though.

4 10 2008
Mom

Maybe you could buy a pair of pointy toed sandals to wear, that way you could decrease the population of the dreadful cockroaches even if they flee into a corner!

And the couch environment would again be lounge-worthy and all of your fellow acadmedians would praise you and write paeans to your to bravery and post them on the Internet.

And they would never know you accomplished it all while silently mouthing the death order just to avoid disturbing the whole building…

6 10 2008
Nola

EEEEeeeeeewwwwwww! Yes, new spot to sit is in order. Or, roach spray!

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