Even though I’ve lived in Texas for just over 2 years now, I have yet to change my cell phone number. Not that this is the point, I’m just saying.
This afternoon, I received a text message:
“this ace? *l&k, denise*”
I don’t actually know what that means, but I ignored it.
10 minutes later, my phone rings.
Female caller: Hellooo.
Me: Um, hello?
FC: Hi, who is this?
Me: (I really hate when people call ME and then instead of identifying themselves, ask who I am). Who are you looking for?
FC: Well, this is the deal. I accidentally gave this guy your number instead of mine.
Me: Uh huh.
FC: Has anyone called you?
Me: No. Bye!
FC: If a guy calls you asking for Brooke, could you give him this number and ask him to call me?
Me: Are you kidding me?
FC: Just give him this number. You’re sure a guy hasn’t called you?
Me: (laughing before I hang up)
Oh please, now I’m a dating/answering service? No way. No way in hell, lady.
UPDATE: It’s 12:33 a.m. C just got home and I was relating this tale to her. Suddenly, my phone rings! C says, “I bet it’s the guy!”
I answer, lo and behold a guy asks if Brooke is there. “Wrong number!! CLICK.”
C says if he calls again I should answer “Brookview Convent, may I help you? Oh, I’m sorry, she’s taking her vows right now, not only of chastity but also silence. You should have called earlier today. Go with God!”
FUTHER UPDATE, Monday: The same girl starts calling my phone today. Like 10 times, seriously. I don’t answer. Finally, she texts me.
“Hi i talked to you yesterday about a number callin u…has anyone called you yet???”
I respond, because I am sick and tired of this shit: “You have got to be kidding me. I’m not your answering service. Stop contacting me.”
Which prompts this from her: “Umm there really is no need to get rude…i was just asking u a simple question & yesterday you could hv told me u didnt want to…obviously u having some damn problems today…but no problem dude. — ima be aiight.”
Can you even believe this? Is this actually my life? YOU IMPERTINENT LITTLE TWIT SHIT. Really now, I am shocked at the behavior of some people. Soon after that, she started calling me again so I wisely blocked the number. People are WEIRD, man. But I’m absolutely thrilled to know she’ll be “aiight.” Tiny little idiot.