Twilight 1 and 2. Aka God help me, that was dumb.

28 12 2009

Okay, here’s the thing and don’t bother making fun of me.

I wanted a brainless, trashy Sunday. I wanted to get a couple of ebooks. I got Twilight 1 and 2. I read them.
The writing is subpar. I mean really. And parts of it are, frankly, stupid. He sparkles, she trips, somehow she decides she’s in love with him after he “dazzles” her.  I wanted trashy, and boy did I find it. The descriptions are pointless, the characterizations are empty, and the plot is convoluted.

I can’t even be fussed to write an entire review of these because I read them both in 1 day and I felt a little nauseated afterwards, kind of like when I eat too much sugar or cheap Chinese food.

In fact, that’s not a bad metaphor. These books are empty calories—they don’t nourish you. Good books feed you, you gain something larger. These are just junk food. Fun for a road trip, say, but bad for you in larger doses.

But of course, here is my main complaint. Wrong words. Here is a sample sentence. Can you spot the error?
“…watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight…”

MOATS? Really? ARGH. Pretty sure you mean “motes” there honey. Because dust MOATS are not only highly unlikely, but if you DID manage to create one, I hope they wouldn’t be stirring in the damn sunlight, know what I mean?

Now, I’m not sure if this was in the original book or if the epub people screwed it up. Because in the 2nd book, there were spacing errors. Everywhere. Words being smushed together and general proofing laziness. In fact, these spacing errors look like the things I’m paid to correct at work. And frankly, I don’t think I’m being picky when I say that if you expect people to pay for a product, it had better damn well be perfect (or at least stick to the admittedly low level set by the print version). But simple errors should not exist.

At this point, I really don’t know if I can take the other 2 books. We’ll see how I feel after I read some real writing.

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One response

28 12 2009
Anna von Beaverpuppet

HA! I noticed on page something like 10 of the first book that there was a sentence like this: “…it had been belonged to me…”

“Had been belonged”? really? This made it through grammar check in a word processing software, past the author, past a proofreader, past an editor, and who knows how many other layers of review before being published like that?

I may have noticed moats, but I think I had already been so outraged by that point that I’d already given up.

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