It’s been a gorgeous day and the weather was still fantastic when C and I decided to go to dinner. The weather being as nice as it is, we opted to sit outside on the patio, at a table with a kind of thatched roof/umbrella thing over it. I was having a good time, eating queso, watching C down her margarita.
A sudden movement by C caught my eye and I looked down to see a giant black bug on the table. I scooted backwards as quickly as possible while she immediately started reassuring me by chanting “Not a roach, it’s not a roach.”
In hindsight, I wish it had been.
I start demanding that she kill it, she says “Oh, it’s just a beetle!” and scoots it off the table with her hand.
A few seconds later, there is the most horrible smell. I mean, this is just god awful. We quickly realize that the beetle has released some foul stank ass spray onto our table and C’s hand.
We start gagging. She goes inside to wash her hands and the smell begins to dissipate. However, as soon as she returns the smell comes back which means it’s probably on her sweater and still on her hand.
I decide that I’m more than done eating at this point because hey, a beetle sprayed a terrifying something on the table. C thinks she’s going to try and finish her fajita, until I mention that I hope the chips don’t smell of beetle butt and she spits her food onto the plate and leaves the table.
I made her drive home with her hand out the window. And then cut a lemon in half for her to wash with once we got home.