In the spirit of Halloween, I went scrounging through my old pictures to find out what I used to look like when I dressed up.
It’s pretty bad. I mean, really.
First up, this wasn’t for a special occasion, this is what I wore EVERY DAY.
No, I’m not a tiny Amish nun but thank you for asking. That Strawberry Shortcake towel is my luxurious, long hair. Obviously. I wanted long hair and didn’t have it because (according to my mother) I refused to brush it. If I refused to brush it, she refused to let me grow it out. This apparently stayed in my subconscious when my hair reached my waist in high school. Take that!!
Next we have: Little Bo Peep goes grocery shopping.
At least, that’s as near as I can figure it. I’m wearing a dress and a matching freaking bonnet. I’m not sure that’s even legal now. But in 1983, why not?
A year later: Another hideous dress!! This time with a wee bit of costume jewelry!
Really, that dress is beyond me. Did someone make it? Who made it? Were they blind?
Of course, I’m not much better at dressing myself. This is what I came up with one year for a Mardi Gras parade.
Yes, that is indeed a purple sequin mesh/net shirt. Please note the addition of glitter war paint dramatically streaked across my cheeks and some heinous clip-on earrings. That’s RIGHT.
I would like to point out that my father was willing to go along with it. Not only did he allow this outfit, he played along.
As you can see, he used color hair spray to make his beard blue and pink. Because that’s how we do.
You may ask yourself, “Where did you obtain such things as a purple sequin mesh/net shirt AND a gold sequin belt?” Honestly, I have no clue. It couldn’t have been from dance recitals, because that was all tutus and what not. And the costume jewelry came from my grandmother, but I’m certain she didn’t have a stretchy sequin belt stashed away in her cellar from her youth. It was the 80s, maybe this stuff was just commercially available everywhere.
And now, my favorite costume of all time. One year, age 8, I tell my mother that I want to be a witch. Okay! She’s going to make me a skirt. With pointed edges, because pointy-edged skirts are what witches wear. And black stockings! Yes!
The result, though, looks less like I’m about to stir a cauldron and more like I’m a tiny woman of the night. Boy, those skirt slits went higher than we anticipated. And those are fishnets, by the way. And yes, I grabbed a magic wand from the magic supply closet, but at that angle it’s looking a little like a cigarette holder. AWESOME. I can’t believe I was allowed to leave the house like this.
The Functional Weirdo 
You look so much like your mom!!!
We had the same perm that year. 🙂
Oh, my gawd… ADORABLE!!!!!
You’re MY tiny woman of the night!
tiny woman of the night! hee!
typing thru the tears streaming down my face, and my cheeks hurt from laughing…
1) for the longest time I thought you were pretending you had just washed your hair
2) matching dress and bonnet…have no clue how we got them, but definitely not from any store…but the heavy lipstick is probably how I bribed you to wear it for trick-or-treating
3) ditto, but this year we had to add cheap clip-on earrings and a flashy bow
4&5) that special purple madness of a top came from one of our frequent garage sale runs…we bought all of their old dance costumes, score!
6) uh, okay, I have no words…sorry?
That dress or top you’re wearing in the first picture reminds me of my favorite dress when I was about 5. It had tiny flowers like that and when I spun around it flared out. That was of course why it was my favorite–the drama when I spun around. Being a kid was fun.